what's in a name?

That which we call a rose/By any other name would smell as sweet.

For a long time, I had trouble really taking this to heart.

My name was the first thing people noticed about me, the strangeness, how foreign it sounded. They couldn't figure out my gender based solely on it, and when teachers would take roll, frequently they'd call me by my last name.

It made me uncomfortable, to say the least. In middle school, I handed out little slips on the first day of school, saying, "Hello, my legal name is Zhiyi, but I go by Angelina. Thanks!"

I followed these with additional slips the next class, as a reminder: "In case you forgot, Zhiyi goes by Angelina". I was very thorough in making sure my classmates would never find out my Chinese name, because they would undoubtedly ask me about it.

I slipped up, and "Zucchini" became a popular nickname that year.

Wearing: J Crew striped silk tee (similar), Lush envelope soft pant (similar), Sam Edelman Felicia flats

Most people curiously ask how to pronounce it, and I simply tell them, "It's Angelina". I had this one teacher who would not let it go however, and interrogated me in front of the class. I was absolutely mortified, and I just wanted to sink into a puddle where no one would notice me.

It isn't that I'm ashamed of my heritage. It's just rare that anyone is able to pronounce it correctly, including other Asian people.

I was afraid, and sometimes still am, that what's on the surface will be the only thing people notice about me. I feel as though it will create a divide between myself and my peers, and emphasize the differences. Differences and diversity, of course, is a good thing, but it can also scare some people.

I'm someone who can't survive without friends, but simultaneously, it can be hard for me to initiate things.

Photography by Serina

It's all part of an ongoing struggle on my identity. I'm not a Chinese person from China, nor an American who grew up here. I'm Chinese-American. And I'm still figuring out what that means to me.

Do you have an "unusual" name? Have you ever felt like an outsider because of your heritage? How do you feel about your ethnicity?

xx

Angelina

In response to "Woes of Having an Unusual Name" by Noor Unnahar.

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p.s. - I'm currently traveling for spring break, and will be back in mid April. See you then! (:

marching ahead

Hello! Long time no see. I've been having a great time out, and things are moving so quickly, I haven't had time to just sit down and write. Marching ahead, get it (it was too good to pass up)?

It's a novel experience for me as someone who likes to work with a schedule that's not too hectic, as being around people for too long can make me tired. But I've been loving it lately!

Being an extra for a film
This is something I've wanted to do for ages, and I'm so glad I got to cross it off the bucket list! I actually considered bailing, as it was for quite a long time, and I wasn't sure I could handle it. But I knew I would regret not taking the chance, and I'd always wonder "what if".

It was both very fast paced and very slow. The extras waited around for the majority of the time, until they wanted us for a scene. Then we were told to hold red Solo cups and pretend to talk very animatedly, but quietly. I caught a couple glimpses of the footage, but I can't wait to see the whole thing!

Snupped gel phone case, Cuyana mini saddle bag, J.Crew italian matte convertible bikini in hilltop olive (hurry, on sale!)

Designing my own phone case
I'm quite picky with what cases I get. Along with your laptop, your phone says a lot about you, and many people see it throughout the course of a day (if you're like me and constantly on your phone anyways). I was ecstatic when the people at Snupped* reached out to me, and obviously I included a quote about fashion.

Overall, the quality is good. It's made of silicon, but it feels more durable and is soft to the touch. I specifically made it in Rose Quartz (keeping up with the times?), but I'm a bit bummed that the edges have already stained from my jeans over the past month.


Taking new photos
I've been into photography for ages, but I've never been able to strong arm any guy friends into modeling for me. I finally convinced one, and I'm in love with how these photos turned out. I now have 100+ photos of him on my camera roll to post to Instagram..

You can see more of my work here as well!

Abercrombie & Fitch embroidered tank (similar), Lucca Couture floral zip dress (similar)

Spring has sprung
The weather is also much warmer in California now, it's in the high 60s and low 70s. Time to switch out the sweaters for lighter layers (which I'm still trying to get rid of, if anyone needs new clothes ;))! While I love not having to shave or worry about sweat stains, I was also running out of cute ways to stay warm. A sneak peek of some clothes I've yet to debut on the blog!

How have you been in the past 2 weeks? What's on your bucket list? How's the weather where you are?

xx

Angelina