Rooted in art
While I've been drawing and painting since I was younger, my progress has arguably been slower than many of my peers. Not that it's a competition, as art in and of itself is very subjective, but for most of my artistic endeavors, I would be considered a painter, or a drawer, rather than an artist.
I wanted to be able to depict reality as I saw it. The shades of the apples must be exactly so, the figure's hands should be as they seem, the bark on the trees is too uniform. I focused solely on the techniques, and creating grand masterpieces every time I pulled out my pencil. If it didn't work out with a few strokes, I abandoned it.
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Do it for the process
When others had already progressed from rudimentary portraits with barely shaded eyes and piano teeth, I was still refining that one eyelash. I went for quality over quantity, but it didn't help me improve. I stayed where I was, and my fear of creating something "low quality" kept me from trying new styles or seeing things differently.
Over time, I used my sketchbook as a tool instead, and stopped seeing things as "failures" if they didn't work out. I did it for the process, rather than the outcome.
How I've changed
In life, doing it for the process is a mindset that's vastly improved my mood and outlook. I value the process more so than the outcome, especially if things don't go according to plan. Memories of ended relationships are kept close for how they made me feel and what I learned from them, botched projects for what to work on in the future, "wasted" hours for taking a break or letting the line slacken for once.
Maybe quality and quantity both play an equal part in things. Quality should trump quantity, but without the latter, the former is difficult to obtain.
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What do you think? Is there anything you'd consider black and white? Where did you go "wrong" that ended up being better in the end?
xx
Angelina
photography by Serina
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